Three months ago, in this post here, I elaborated on the fear that I experienced in the prelude to my previous three monthly check up at my Doctor. I've also described before here, how the support of my friends and family kept me going during all my treatment for Melanoma cancer earlier this year.
Yesterday was my Birthday, and also the only available day that my Surgeon was able to see me for my check up. Now I knew when I made this appointment a few weeks ago, that the timing wasn't ideal, but I had no other option. The morning began with the usual feeling of dread, terror and fear about the impending visit, and loads of Birthday texts, calls and emails. The day was largely overshadowed by the first half of the previous sentence. And by the fact that I had the pleasure of collecting the very
unattractive necessary compression sleeve that I need to wear to try and reduce the swelling in my right arm as a result of where my lymph nodes were taken in my axilla to check the cancer hadn't spread earlier this year...
My Doctor is lovely, and agreed that the one mole that I thought had changed in the past few months had, and she was worried about another one too. She scanned them using her cool machine that shows changes, and whilst she wasn't too keen for me to look at the results on the screen, she said that perhaps it was safest we removed them immediately. And so I've had them cut off of me, and sent off to the laboratory to be tested and on Wednesday we will know if they are safe. She says she is sure they will be fine, and I believe that they will be too. I can't fathom the thought of them not being fine...and I sure as hell can't face the thought of any more chunks being cut out of my back:(
I won't bore you with the details, but I managed to keep a happy face on during the Doctor's appointment and for about 30 seconds as I walked to the Underground before the tears began to flow...and just as I got control of the waterworks, someone else would phone me to ask how the appointment had gone and I would cry again.
I had a few hours of not being able to 'be positive' and 'be strong', no matter how hard I tried. I considered cancelling my Birthday get together we had planned, but I am so glad that I didn't. I cried once discussing it early on in the evening, but soon felt strengthened by the incredible people that I am so blessed to be able to call my friends.
A few of my wonderful friends that came last night....
Thank you to everyone who came last night, and to all those who didn't but that sent me hundreds of messages...Like I have said before, I am SO incredibly lucky.
Today I feel that I can take on anything that comes my way and it is thanks to everyone in my life. Breakfast made by Pete, followed a pedicure and a manicure and lunch at my favourite Cafe, before we head off for a lovely Weekend in the Cotswolds, certainly has helped too:)
Here's to holding thumbs (and newly painted fingers) for only good news on Wednesday.
Have a fabulous Weekend everybody!