Firstly, if you are in the other half of my Yoga teacher training group, maybe don't read this before you go on the retreat yourself this weekend...
I had very naively lead myself to believe that were going on a little holiday to the Cornish seaside, and that we were going to do a few Yoga classes whilst we were there.
One glance at the schedule that we were given upon arrival, quickly shattered the holiday dream.
"Nik, when are we even going to have time to shower?"
"Seriously we are being woken up at 5:30 am for meditation, and we are nonstop until we leave on Sunday..."
The house we stayed in was gorgeous as you can see above.
And the British weather was for once really showing off.
We ate every meal outside which was wonderful.
We also meditated three times a day, did an hour and a half long Yoga class early each morning, practiced postures for two hours, did deep relaxation sessions and listened to the most amazing "gong-ing" sessions.
We also did a meditation session overlooking the sun setting over the sea, and one on the beach before lunch on Sunday.
Sounds pretty chilled hey?
No, not so much.
You spend that much time in meditation alone with your own thoughts and see how how your deepest fears and regrets can begin to raise their heads.
Yes I know you not meant to think about anything when you are meditating, but not all of us have quite mastered that yet.
If I had done this retreat a year ago, I think I would have had
a little, a rather large meltdown.
I was soo terrified of further melanoma cancer drama's, I think that this may have topped me over the edge.
No wonder you hear of peoples leaving Ashram's in ambulances.
Or maybe it would have have helped me to face my fears and anxieties sooner?
We also had to be silent from 9:30 pm until after breakfast the following day, around 10:30 am.
This may not sound that long, but when you've been up since 5:30am, and you are sharing a room and a bed with one of your best friends...it is a looong time.
The maintaining silence was an interesting experience. I struggled hugely with it, and I think that the the thoughts in my head were most rampant during these hours.
I need to become more comfortable with this silence.
Friends have asked me this week if it the retreat was Amazing.
And I would have to say that it was great.
But soo intense.
It is something that everyone should try at least once.
But perhaps a little more of a relaxing one than ours was.
In saying that though, I have felt Amazing this week.
Must be all that meditation and yoga...