Aside from my sadness about Jen leaving this week, I have had a really great past few days. I've felt like I have finally had time to stop, think, (blog) and breathe a little and I've had a generally light and peaceful feeling in my heart.
If you've been reading my blog for a while you will know that I am fascinated by how some people 'have more peace in their hearts' or 'are more comfortable in their own skin.'
And I truly believe that after your health nothing is more important than being at peace with yourself. In my yoga teacher training this year, I've learnt that the Yogi's consider the feeling of inner peace as having good "Prana" or life force or vital energy. I previously discussed here Why Gossip is no Good as it sucks your Prana from you.
Now there are aways going to be people that you encounter in your days that are so low on their own inner peace stores, that they can rob you of yours.
Now before you think I'm talking utter rubbish, think about someone who you know who loves to gossip, seldom sees the good in anyone and complains about their situation in life non stop. Someone who really sees themselves as "one of lives victims".
Now think about the last time that you saw them. I'm guessing that you were really nice to them, reassured them that they are thin/kind or successful enough and insisted to them that their life was about to improve.
Now think about how you felt after leaving that catch up. I'm guessing that they left much happier, and that you felt emotionally exhausted and a little anxious.
I know, I used to have this happen to me ALL the time. And I still occasionally do.
Now it's all very well to say that you need to slash these kind of people from your life, and believe me, I have where possible.
But there are some people that you just aren't going to be able to. Perhaps they are a relative or a colleague or a friends good friend that you have to engage with at times.
A big lesson that I have learnt this year, is that for the majority, you can't change people. And that you can lose a LOT of your own inner vital energy trying to do so.
Especially the people that are always seeking reassurance, I remember a Psychologist colleague once telling me that, "reassurance feeds anxiety", which I never properly understood at the time.
Ok, so I'm saying you can't shed everyone who is negative or wicked from your life, and you need to maintain your own prana/vital energy or 'inner peace'.
How do you do it?
Perhaps you could try using The Four Locks and Keys that are mentioned in the Yoga sutra's?
The Yogis believe that there are 4 types of people in this world, and each type has a 'key' with which we can engage with them, whilst preserving ourselves.
We should demonstrate:
Friendliness to the Happy
Compassion to the Un-Happy
Joy for the Virtuous
and Disregard for the Wicked.
I tried out the second one recently and was very pleasantly surprised by the outcome...
What do you think?
Have a Super Weekend friends!